back without vengeance to solitary being
i am rediscovering syncopation and fe e li ng myself out
finding myself to be the owner of some things
to have metaphysical assets
and the like
i am on the verge of something that has shrunk since i was here last
finding it to be a home of sorts
finding it to be somewhat critical of me
all steps are missteps with that attitude
if i find out that all along, this right justification was ill-formatted?
well, i don't see how i could

i didn't desaturate anything!
here in this constructed fervor i tremble
but not as a symptom
i and machine, e
not a trick not a system not its own
own edifice
how else to explain how i welcome any ennui
annie
these are much more devious than red herrings i am
much more conspicuous
are they
much more sinister?
there is something beautiful about the way i write
there is something broken about the way i write and these
are separate truths, this i know
thoughts are only -congested- into this brain of mine -projected- onto this webspace of theirs
i am a movie to myself in times of high narcissism
that is something to stomach
(i turn around at every truth)
(i corkscrew down the page)
there was a flower - how many thoughts does it take
what is this difference in probability in the collision of volleyballs, tennis balls, and atoms
and what is the significance of the order in which i considered them
it is a very small sandbox
i am sifting through my own canon
next time i unilaterally
deny, solipsism?
it is your duty to incriminate me
and lynch this reprobate from the past

this is cubism and you may not even know
what does time tether to and by what means
you tether to me like fishing line

of all the relationships to examine, this
peer review, beholden to your own ideals
asked and answered and reasked (process)

code comprised of so much more and so much less, at once
than vocal patterns, mood

this is an abstraction in an attempt to relate to you and i am getting

f u  r   t    h    e     r      away
communication as a gradient, there is something
something to, yes
i want to die a martyr for my individual cause, how else
rhythm writing like kodak black dancing
that blew up
rhythm writing like jackson pollack there              is no texture to this, this
it's possible to trail off in everything you do - my favorite? on the pollard's lawn
now i see one of the errors of my ways
what will this come to

haters will say it's fake
but you must resist!
here inside this irony-lacquered hubris there is no greater deed
i won't allow you the notion that there is anything you can do to fail me

totality of introspection

this is an after the fact menthol
you don't have to understand it now
from what i can discern i am the image of serenity
but for a second; passion can work that way
i met someone who will not be spit upon
and i always want to call her by a different name
is it you?

i've been impressed by the range of the wifi signal at the ymca
i've been impressed into this tiny footprint of myself that's shallower still
in the way i'm unable to maintain the sense of indebtedness that i so greatly deserve
i cannot perform an inventory of the things i have in order to tell you exactly what i deserve
i cannot
even more perfunctory functions i cannot perform

my mind was scrambled the other month
that doesn't explain it all, but i'd like to try again
if you won't allow the idea that i really have remade myself
to permeate our conversation, our relationships
then i'll take it to the hole